Jake19 Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Currently have a 40 gallon and want to upgrade it to a 75. Have everything that would go in it already but spouse doesn't want to upgrade since they didn't want the 40 gallon in the house to begin with. Any suggestions to get them on board? Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLFishChik Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 (edited) I always find it easier to beg forgiveness later , than to ask permission first. 🤣 HOWEVER... "But... I got it for practically FREE -or- it was such a GOOD sale! Look how CRAMPED those fish look - it's for THEIR benefit, we wouldn't want to be bad fish parents! It would take LESS maintenance if there's more gallons.... I'll let you choose some fish to go in it!"... If nothing else works... break out the Powerpoint and the laser pointer... and describe in scientific detail how upgrading your tank would be beneficial to not only the fish, but the household, the neighborhood, the environment.... explaining the cycling process and the chemistry involved... The idea is to bore her to tears until she finally cracks..... That might work Edited March 2 by FLFishChik 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moz Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Hey, I like those ideas! I happened to be passing by and read this topic and never thought to ask this questions myself. I have a 10gal and would like to upgrade to a 20 or 40gal one day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllFishNoBrakes Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Idk, maybe get a new spouse? Jk. It’s a tough one with no right/correct answer. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLFishChik Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Seriously though... Maybe Upgrade Sloooooowly. Like a 55g might not seem like such a monstrous jump in size compared to a 75g (not like in my case where I went from 29g to 75g... that took a LOT of convincing). BUT, my spouse gets that it's my thing.. it makes me happy, so he doesn't put up too much fuss AND, I promised that would be the ONLY larger tank I kept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lefty o Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 the old saying is "better to ask forgiveness, than to ask permission". your mileage may vary, but its worth a try! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galabar Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Bring your spouse to the aquarium store and show them around. They may fall in love with a fish... and then you have them! 😉 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guppysnail Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Try just talking to your spouse. Explain how much you love the one you have. What it is you want that you can’t have. Ask them to make a budget plan with you or agree to wait for a sale. Find out what fish they might enjoy and allow them to participate in stocking. If they like houseplants ask them to pick wet feet houseplants use can do a riparian out of the tank. Try to involve them and make it a couples project. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLFishChik Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 (edited) On 3/1/2024 at 11:36 PM, Guppysnail said: Try just talking to your spouse. Explain how much you love the one you have. What it is you want that you can’t have. Ask them to make a budget plan with you or agree to wait for a sale. Find out what fish they might enjoy and allow them to participate in stocking. If they like houseplants ask them to pick wet feet houseplants use can do a riparian out of the tank. Try to involve them and make it a couples project. I mean… sure, you could try the sensible, responsible, adult approach… but where is the adventure in that? (^ this was not meant to be taken seriously) Edited March 2 by FLFishChik 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwcarlson Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 (edited) I know it's 'funny' to talk about just doing something and asking for forgiveness, but just in case someone takes that advice seriously... please don't do that. A roommate doesn't really have a say in what you do... a spouse does (or at least should). You can get to the point where the agreement is such that you can basically do whatever you want with your hobbies. But just taking that into your own hands without being upfront and honest is not right. Edited March 2 by jwcarlson 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanked Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Ask her to pick the fish Offer the spouse the rest of the clothes closet Hint that you are getting bored with the 40 and were thinking about switching to either drums or model trains. Honestly if logic and reason doesn't work you are left with surrender or ransom. Good luck! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lefty o Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 On 3/2/2024 at 9:22 AM, Tanked said: Ask her to pick the fish Offer the spouse the rest of the clothes closet Hint that you are getting bored with the 40 and were thinking about switching to either drums or model trains. Honestly if logic and reason doesn't work you are left with surrender or ransom. Good luck! drums, and an electric guitar would make a larger aquarium seem tolerable!!!😎 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odd Duck Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 On 3/2/2024 at 9:22 AM, Tanked said: Hint that you are getting bored with the 40 and were thinking about switching to either drums or model trains. This may be the best suggestion yet. Certainly the funniest! Maybe trumpet? Or violin? I hear either are notoriously difficult to perfect. 😝 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mmiller2001 Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Guilt and ultimatums! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanked Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 On 3/2/2024 at 10:50 AM, Odd Duck said: This may be the best suggestion yet. Certainly the funniest! Maybe trumpet? Or violin? I hear either are notoriously difficult to perfect. 😝 I vote trumpet. They don't have much volume control, and I used to play (with) I was never good. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony s Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 On 3/2/2024 at 10:59 AM, Mmiller2001 said: Guilt and ultimatums! And bribery. Works great on spouses and kids 😂 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeQ Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 (edited) How much do you like your spouse? 🤣 Edited March 2 by JoeQ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 (edited) I think to be able to give any decent advice, we need to know what the objection is. Why didn't spouse want the 40 to begin with? Is it a space issue? Money? Water damege potential? Time it takes you to deal with it? Fish creep them out? Something else? Edited March 2 by Katherine 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galabar Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 My wife tolerates my hobby. However, when I brought her to ACO, she wanted to empty out the store... 🙂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLFishChik Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 On 3/2/2024 at 5:49 PM, Galabar said: My wife tolerates my hobby. However, when I brought her to ACO, she wanted to empty out the store... 🙂 My husband is the same way. He tolerates it, reluctantly participates when I drag him to fish store, but the moment I start talking about “the next greatest fish” that I am obsessed over, his eyes glaze over and drool begins to pool at the corners of his mouth. He could care less, lol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyxxl Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 My friends wives prefer the hobbies we have over the alternative ones like bar's 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scapexghost Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 On 3/1/2024 at 8:57 PM, FLFishChik said: Seriously though... Maybe Upgrade Sloooooowly. Like a 55g might not seem like such a monstrous jump in size compared to a 75g (not like in my case where I went from 29g to 75g... that took a LOT of convincing). BUT, my spouse gets that it's my thing.. it makes me happy, so he doesn't put up too much fuss AND, I promised that would be the ONLY larger tank I kept. A 55 and a 75 look basically the same to the untrained eye, a 75 is just deeper. Better to get the spouse mad once instead of twice 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony s Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 On 3/2/2024 at 7:04 PM, Scapexghost said: Better to get the spouse mad once instead of twice Ooh. You braver than me. I think once is like way too much 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonske Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 On 3/2/2024 at 10:26 AM, Jake19 said: Currently have a 40 gallon and want to upgrade it to a 75. Have everything that would go in it already but spouse doesn't want to upgrade since they didn't want the 40 gallon in the house to begin with. Any suggestions to get them on board? Lol Consider the reversed situation. Would you like them to talk/trick you into something you really don't want? Repeatedly? To get them on board, try bargaining. There must be something they want (and you most likely don't). Offer (and deliver, of course) that in return for your new tank. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony s Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 On 3/2/2024 at 9:05 PM, Fonske said: To get them on board, try bargaining. There must be something they want (and you most likely don't). Offer (and deliver, of course) that in return for your new tank. Right. Like I said….. bribery. 🤣. have used this method a lot, after 12 years of raising other people’s children. 😀 but in all seriousness, I think this was all meant in fun. I don’t believe that anyone here would actually use some of these methods to manipulate their significant other. But having read a couple of the responses, I’m guessing some people have had people be that way. This whole topic hits a whole lot different if you’ve gone through that. If you’ve been triggered by this, you have our absolute apologies. I’m very sure it was never intended that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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