What makes a good fish keeper

[Scapexghost]

So, I see post here and on reddit occationally who feel guilty about how they keep fish or think that they are a bad fish keeper. So, i want to say what i think a good fish keeper is.

If you think you are a bad fish keeper, than you are a good fish keeper. Basically, if you care about your fish at all, you are a better fish keeper than 90% of fish keepers out there. To most people, fish are like a joke pet. They put a gold fish in a bowl and it dies after a week and think nothing of it. So if you feel guilty bc of an angelfish you've had for 2 years died of some disease, you are light years ahead of almost all fish keepers.

If you are reading this, you are a good fiah keeper. If your here, it means you are trying to get better at fish keeping. Most fish keepers are not. Most fish keepers keep fish for a few months, and after killing a bunch, they give up and move on to something else. If a fish is bought by someone on this forum, they are an extremely lucky fish.

If you enjoy fish keeping but are considering giving up the hobby bc of some sense of guilt, i plead with you to reconsider. Fish and the hobby are better with you!

[ScandiDefense]

What a nicely timed post! I am currently going thru a very serious bout of self blaming and negativity due to me unable to save my black molly fries from getting eaten by their parents. I only managed to save 4....... Each time this happens, i feel extremely bad. Self blaming. Negative thoughts. I dont feel so bad if the fries died of illness or being deformed. I feel bad but not as bad as when the fries get eaten up by their parents. It is like i failed them. I owe them a right to life. I owe them a chance to live life and i failed them. 

[Scapexghost]

On 3/5/2023 at 10:30 PM, ScandiDefense said:

What a nicely timed post! I am currently going thru a very serious bout of self blaming and negativity due to me unable to save my black molly fries from getting eaten by their parents. I only managed to save 4....... Each time this happens, i feel extremely bad. Self blaming. Negative thoughts. I dont feel so bad if the fries died of illness or being deformed. I feel bad but not as bad as when the fries get eaten up by their parents. It is like i failed them. I owe them a right to life. I owe them a chance to live life and i failed them. 

If it wasnt for you the parents wouldve never been healthy and happy enough to breed in the first place. As time goes on youll be able to save more and more.

[ScandiDefense]

On 3/6/2023 at 12:36 PM, Scapexghost said:

If it wasnt for you the parents wouldve never been healthy and happy enough to breed in the first place. As time goes on youll be able to save more and more.

Thank you for your encouraging and kind words. Means a lot to me!

[TheSwissAquarist]

Thanks for the nice post @Scapexghost, I'm currently dealing with an Ich-ridden endler colony.

[Theplatymaster]

On 3/5/2023 at 11:22 PM, Scapexghost said:

They put a gold fish in a bowl and it dies after a week and think nothing of it.

wow...

do i need to talk about people at my school?

this is the perfect opportunity to tell a story (on this topic)(maybe)

So last year at my school i started a fish tank, it wasnt anything fancy, a tengallon tank, box filter, gravel, glofish plants, and a betta.(now my betta).

people in my grade were JERKS about that tank. they were always telling me that

A.I was starving the betta for not feeding it on the weekends

B.It was depressed living in the tank and should be in the ocean

C.It was depressed from living alone.

and id keep asking them who knows more about this topic, and they'd give me the story that

"my betta lived 3years in  a bowl"

and i may have called them animal abusers...

now as you'd know none of these points make sense

A.Fish can miss feedings and its healthy for them, there is not always food in the wild

B.a ten gallon tank is MUCH bigger then the 1gallon bowls theyd be keeping the betta in, bettas are FRESHWATER fish, and this fish was created for the pet trade, it would have NEVER seen the ocean.

C. Bettas can live alone, though they stopped bugging me on this one when i added a male platy as a tankmate.

So betta in a bowl, good fishkeeping: NO

The betta situation i had setup there, good fishkeeping: YES

wow i needed to rant to get to that point, i have too many of these stories.

[Flying fox 6523]

On 3/6/2023 at 5:12 AM, Theplatymaster said:

wow...

do i need to talk about people at my school?

this is the perfect opportunity to tell a story (on this topic)(maybe)

So last year at my school i started a fish tank, it wasnt anything fancy, a tengallon tank, box filter, gravel, glofish plants, and a betta.(now my betta).

people in my grade were JERKS about that tank. they were always telling me that

A.I was starving the betta for not feeding it on the weekends

B.It was depressed living in the tank and should be in the ocean

C.It was depressed from living alone.

and id keep asking them who knows more about this topic, and they'd give me the story that

"my betta lived 3years in  a bowl"

and i may have called them animal abusers...

now as you'd know none of these points make sense

A.Fish can miss feedings and its healthy for them, there is not always food in the wild

B.a ten gallon tank is MUCH bigger then the 1gallon bowls theyd be keeping the betta in, bettas are FRESHWATER fish, and this fish was created for the pet trade, it would have NEVER seen the ocean.

C. Bettas can live alone, though they stopped bugging me on this one when i added a male platy as a tankmate.

So betta in a bowl, good fishkeeping: NO

The betta situation i had setup there, good fishkeeping: YES

wow i needed to rant to get to that point, i have too many of these stories.

 

On 3/5/2023 at 11:30 PM, ScandiDefense said:

What a nicely timed post! I am currently going thru a very serious bout of self blaming and negativity due to me unable to save my black molly fries from getting eaten by their parents. I only managed to save 4....... Each time this happens, i feel extremely bad. Self blaming. Negative thoughts. I dont feel so bad if the fries died of illness or being deformed. I feel bad but not as bad as when the fries get eaten up by their parents. It is like i failed them. I owe them a right to life. I owe them a chance to live life and i failed them. 

You can't feel bad if that's in the animals nature, if they didn't something would 
I felt so bad about my guppies doing the same thing & I went over board on it 
& the next thing I knew I was LOADED with fries from 1 tank to tanks everywhere.

After saving as many as I did & guppy tanks in every place I could put 1 I was done 
I got to thinking what the flip am I doing?  STOP think about this for a min
what are you going to do with all these guppies? & I decided to sell them & get 
out of the guppies so I moved onto goldfish & after 2 years I sold them, WHY ?

Cause when I started getting tanks I didn't know what I was doing for 1 & 2
I thought it was pretty awesome to have guppies to breed in a tank I set up 
so I left them alone & kept them going till it got over whelming for me.

So now I rather just raise fish that's not so prolific in breeding & not eat my
plants, just enjoy a tank or 2 that has awesome plant's & tank cleaners of
some sort to keep the tank & plant's clean nothing to multiply except the
plants is good for me, that doesn't mean I don't like fish, it means less work.

[Flying fox 6523]

On 3/5/2023 at 11:36 PM, Scapexghost said:

If it wasn't for you the parents would've never been healthy and happy enough to breed in the first place. As time goes on you'll be able to save more and more.

That's right & when that happens they'll know how bad fish can multiply 
specially guppies, I did & after 2 yrs I got out of that & got some goldfish 
they are cool fish to have but they eat plant's & very dirty to keep up with.

[Flying fox 6523]

On 3/5/2023 at 11:59 PM, ScandiDefense said:

Thank you for your encouraging and kind words. Means a lot to me!

What breed of fish do you have ? & what size tank are they in? 
& what kind of plant's are in the tank? if you have guppies or 
mollies the best way to save them is with java moss & a pile of 
rocks at 1 end of the tank for when the female drops that's where 
they will go & stay there till they are big enough to join the others.

I'm going to start a molly tank up & see what I can get from them 
if I can get some fry out of them that will be cool IF they don't do 
like the guppies I had a few years ago, cause a 35-tall is all I got.

[Colu]

What makes a good fish keeper is patience willingness to learn from your mistakes  putting the fish's welfare first giving them the appropriate tanks size for the fish your keeping not making impulse buys  doing your research 

Edited March 6, 2023 by Colu

[Furbs]

Reading through here is making me feel better about the poor rasboras I let down this week. Corrected the issue helping them surf out of the tank but it still feels bad not having known that would be an issue before hand.

rest of the little guys will have a better life for it 

[mynameisnobody]

It all depends on what the definition of good is. This is extremely subjective. Does the person that really tries, but doesn’t have access to the proper information, any less of a keeper than someone with access to the proper information. I’d say if you’re not actively killing fish, then you’re doing better than most. 
I don’t comprehend the sadness aspect, other than having a wet pet for a long period of time and then it passes. Other than that, it’s life. We can debate what you feel is the proper thing to do, but ultimately it is impossible to stand near your tank 24/7 looking for diseases/issues/or fry. 

Edited March 6, 2023 by mynameisnobody

[Fish Folk]

You cannot deeply love what you do not truly know.

In my view, a good aquarist is someone engaged in lifelong learning. It is love for the aquatic life they steward that makes them want to truly know how things work best.

In this process, there is some sadness… failure… death… but always learning. Always love at the bottom of everything.

[Flying fox 6523]

On 3/6/2023 at 6:57 PM, Fish Folk said:

You cannot deeply love what you do not truly know.

In my view, a good aquarist is someone engaged in lifelong learning. It is love for the aquatic life they steward that makes them want to truly know how things work best.

In this process, there is some sadness… failure… death… but always learning. Always love at the bottom of everything.

That I have to agree with, I've always been a fish nerd 
it's the 1 thing that keeps my sanity from going off the 
rails when I have a bad day & yes not every 1 has the 
same connection with how other fish people do things.

The best thing about having fish or just a aquarium with 
plant's is it's the best thing to enjoy when there's nothing 
else left in life to enjoy, till your too old to take care of it.

[ScandiDefense]

On 3/6/2023 at 10:19 PM, Flying fox 6523 said:

What breed of fish do you have ? & what size tank are they in? 
& what kind of plant's are in the tank? if you have guppies or 
mollies the best way to save them is with java moss & a pile of 
rocks at 1 end of the tank for when the female drops that's where 
they will go & stay there till they are big enough to join the others.

I'm going to start a molly tank up & see what I can get from them 
if I can get some fry out of them that will be cool IF they don't do 
like the guppies I had a few years ago, cause a 35-tall is all I got.

On 3/6/2023 at 12:36 PM, Scapexghost said:

If it wasnt for you the parents wouldve never been healthy and happy enough to breed in the first place. As time goes on youll be able to save more and more.

I have three 15 gallons and one 8 gallon cube shaped tank. One 15 gallon houses my ranchu and ryukin. Another 15 gallon houses my guppies and tetras. The last 15 gallon houses my black mollies. The cube shaped 8 gallon is sort of my nursery for guppies and mollies. I am gonna try your suggestion of putting a pile of rocks in the corner. Would marbles do the trick? I have a handful of marbles left laying around. Would the fries get squished by marbles? I mean accidentally. 

[nabokovfan87]

On 3/6/2023 at 3:25 PM, mynameisnobody said:

It all depends on what the definition of good is. This is extremely subjective. Does the person that really tries, but doesn’t have access to the proper information, any less of a keeper than someone with access to the proper information. I’d say if you’re not actively killing fish, then you’re doing better than most. 

This....

There are a lot of "hobbyists" who do dumb things and put fish in danger.  There are people that use tanks as battle arenas and there are plenty of actual fishkeepers that seriously struggle to handle their tanks.

One of the most difficult lessons is twofold for me.  I will try not to be concise telling these tales. 

First, was recently.  Helping someone who was brand new to the hobby and basically won a fish at the fair type of scenario.  Not exactly, but the point being is that this fish was theirs now and they had no idea.  Plenty of people wanted to offer help, send videos, send lists on what to do, but after 2-3 pages of forum posts it was pretty clear everyone missed something extremely critical.  Sometimes you just really, really need to take a step back and look at a basic problem with eyes of someone who doesn't have any idea of what the correct advice is.  Sometimes you have to seriously take a breath, slow down, and try to think about what you're doing and how you're doing it as much as why you're doing it.  Even my last water change, I was so exhausted and dehydrated that I was worried about tossing the lid or tank on the ground.  I was so worried about forgetting something small that led to a catastrophic failure.  Trying to be helpful and guide someone is very, very different than telling someone what to do or to use the expression "if it was my tank, this is what I would do".    This manta, this mindset of slowing down and reviewing everything is so critical when you run into issues. 

Second, was not recent.  I was very excited to have my own big tank.  To have a tank that was setup, beautiful, and working well.  I just needed to get the plants to grow and add fish.  I bought what was at the time the "best" filter.  I had the setup perfect and I had everything dialed in to be successful.  I added in 25 tiger barbs and watched the filter kill them one by one over a year.  Then numbers dwindled and aggression took over.  It was one of the worst feelings as a hobbyist and it's something I have spend YEARS trying to fix.  Not only for myself, but trying to find others who solved the problem and how they solved it.  Apart from using the corner of an ice chest into the tank to stop the fish from getting into the filter it's been a situation where I spent years learning.  From misdiagnosing illness, to not reacting quick enough, to a variety of other issues, the point was that I failed my own standards and the fish in the tank.  They weren't high quality fish with special genetics, but they were mine and I failed them.

Sometimes you make mistakes and that causes growth.

"Good food takes time".
"You never step in the same river twice"

"The only source of knowledge is experience."
-Einstein

“Fools call wise men fools. A wise man never calls any man a fool."
-Edison

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/7-epic-fails-brought-to-you-by-the-genius-mind-of-thomas-edison-180947786/

The only way you fail is that you decide to let yourself give up.