HELP! How to deal with sadness when my baby fries got eaten up?

[ScandiDefense]

Hi everyone. Need so help on how to deal with the sadness that i am experiencing now. My black mollies gave birth yesterday night after i went to bed. And this morning when i got up, i only managed to save 4 black molly fries. I saw a whole bunch of black coloured poop and according to a friend, this means my black mollies ate their own fries yesterday night. I am now feeling very negative and blaming myself for the death of those babies that i failed to save. I am very grateful i managed to save 4. How do u deal with this negativity?  My friend said they are fishes and they eat their fries and there is no point of me being sad or dejected or negative about it. Yet those feelings are still present in me up til now. For me, if those babies are borned deformed or had illness then i wouldn't feel like this. I don't feel like this when my fish dies of old age. It is only when i failed to save my fries that this negativity hits me hard. Real hard. Any ways to deal with it? Thank you guys in advance for reading this lengthy post of mine. Thank you again.

[Schuyler]

Don't blame yourself. It's sad but it's also beyond your control. It's their natural instinct.

There's also a chance that it was a small batch. Is the mother young?

[A3M0N]

It's ok for you to feel what you feel, your friend has no place telling you how you should feel. You are passionate about your pets and your hobby, you feel grief about the loss, no matter how small the lives may have been. I'm sorry! 

[ScandiDefense]

On 3/6/2023 at 12:31 PM, Schuyler said:

Don't blame yourself. It's sad but it's also beyond your control. It's their natural instinct.

There's also a chance that it was a small batch. Is the mother young?

I am not quite sure about the mother being young or old. But she has give birth at least 3 times. This being the 4th. The previous time, i saved 19 fries and all 19 fries are now juveniles which i keep in another tank. 

On 3/6/2023 at 12:31 PM, A3M0N said:

It's ok for you to feel what you feel, your friend has no place telling you how you should feel. You are passionate about your pets and your hobby, you feel grief about the loss, no matter how small the lives may have been. I'm sorry! 

Thank you for your kind and supportive words of encouragement! My friend has no qualms about culling his fishes that are not up to his standards. Even though the fish grew up to be healthy but he has no qualms about culling if the coloration is not up to his standards. Sometimes i really wonder how he sleeps at night. I have persuaded him to give me the fishes that he feels is not up to mark. I try to give them a chance at life in my tanks but my tanks are limited.

[Theplatymaster]

On 3/5/2023 at 11:25 PM, ScandiDefense said:

It is only when i failed to save my fries that this negativity hits me hard. Real hard.

ill try to comfort you with these words:

If fry were easy to find and catch, things that ate their own would be extinct.

you are not trying to catch a red playground ball in the middle of a empty gym,

you are basically finding a needle in a haystack, the molly fry are tiny, and fast,.

also dont worry,

im sure you'll get more soon.

[Procrypsis]

Tequila.

[drewzero1]

It's natural for them to eat them sometimes, and it's also totally natural to feel sad about it. My way of dealing with it is to minimize intervention; I don't catch out the fry, and I try not to count them, so I don't feel too much responsibility for not being able to save some. I try to help them help themselves by keeping a lot of guppy grass, java moss, and vallisneria for the fry to hide in. I also try to make sure I'm feeding them enough, but that still doesn't always prevent them from getting ideas.

[ScandiDefense]

On 3/6/2023 at 7:36 PM, drewzero1 said:

It's natural for them to eat them sometimes, and it's also totally natural to feel sad about it. My way of dealing with it is to minimize intervention; I don't catch out the fry, and I try not to count them, so I don't feel too much responsibility for not being able to save some. I try to help them help themselves by keeping a lot of guppy grass, java moss, and vallisneria for the fry to hide in. I also try to make sure I'm feeding them enough, but that still doesn't always prevent them from getting ideas.

Thanks for your kind words! My mollies are in a relatively new tank and the guppy grass that i added in was still kinda new and not as thick as in my other tank. I was blaming myself for not moving more grass into this new tank. Had i done so, then the fries would have a fighting chance instead of being an easy target. 

On 3/6/2023 at 6:57 PM, Theplatymaster said:

ill try to comfort you with these words:

If fry were easy to find and catch, things that ate their own would be extinct.

you are not trying to catch a red playground ball in the middle of a empty gym,

you are basically finding a needle in a haystack, the molly fry are tiny, and fast,.

also dont worry,

im sure you'll get more soon.

You are absolutely right. I need to change my mindset and also add more guppygrass to my molly tank.

[Scaperoot]

     In our 40 breeder, we had Dalmation Mollies that gave birth to dozens of fry. This was over a year ago, when we first started a community tank. I was over the moon, but didn't know anything about breeding, fry care, tank mate issues, etc. One morning, I go to check on them and don't see any. I finally see one little guy swimming towards the front of the tank, and in a split second our Tiger Barb Tony comes in and scoops him up. Gone in a flash. I carried the guilt of that for weeks. I even set up a 10 gallon just for fry, but the ones I put there never survived. A year later, and the 40 breeder is now heavily planted, and full of fry! I have a wall of Ambulia that our Platys love to give birth in. Our 10 gallon has fry and even (as of last week) baby shrimp! It's the most satisfying feeling for me as a hobbyist. 

 

Give your fish some good cover, and stay encouraged🙂

Edited March 6, 2023 by Scaperoot

[ScandiDefense]

Thank you for the kind words! I will provide more guppy grass as cover for the fries. I am trying some diy artificial hiding places for the fries. Cut some plastic bags into long thin strips and tied them up to resemble some sort of floating grass. Hope it will provide some cover for any new fries. Yeah the feeling of seeing our fries grow up is indescribable. 😃

Edited March 7, 2023 by ScandiDefense

[Darax]

I sing 'the circle of life' and trying to remember that I have brought many more fish into the world than have died under my care. 

[ScandiDefense]

On 3/7/2023 at 9:14 AM, Darax said:

I sing 'the circle of life' and trying to remember that I have brought many more fish into the world than have died under my care. 

That is a good thought to keep in mind! Bringing more fish into the world than having died under my care! 👍👍👍