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When is it time to say goodbye?


Karen B.
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I have a betta, my beautiful Gandalf, that has been growing tumors for the last few months. I’ve had him since october 2021. He has always been active, swimming, curious. He was always scouting his tank and stopping by pretty much every plant to make sure nothing moved, etc. He hated whenever I would move anything in his aquarium or clean it. With time I only just filled back the evaporated water once every 2-3 weeks, as well as 50% wc every 2 months. He is in a planted heated 10 gallons with a HOB Aqueon 20 filter and sponge filter.

 

Lately his tumors have been growing. His behavior has changed also. Most of the time he rests at the bottom of the tank, wedge between plants or between the glass and a plant. That’s something he has never done before. Then he swims around a bit, takes a gulp of air, and goes back down. I removed his snail because he would get super upset if it was on the front glass. I also stopped the HoB filter to reduce the flow. He still eats, but isn’t as eager as he once was.

 

I have a hard time making up my mind. Clearly he isn’t as happy and healthy as he once was. But should I euthanize him right now? I hate knowing he might be suffering. I wouldn’t want to prolong it just for my own sake… nor would I want to have the feeling he is unwell so I am just « getting rid » of him instead of letting him enjoy his life as stress free as possible.
 

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Edited by Karen B.
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I had a white guinea pig called Gandalf. It was so hard to see him pass away. Now seeing your beautiful fish called Gandalf, It made me remember of my lil one.

It is always hard to say a goodbye to our friends. Hope people here may help you to make the best decision.

@Odd Duck, would you like to share your opinion?

 

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This is never an easy choice to make, even in an obvious situation.  This is far from an obvious decision for Gandalf.  Those masses are not enough by themselves to tip the balance since they don’t seem to be affecting his swimming much at this point.  His behavior may be a bit borderline but it could be for other reasons than the masses.  For sure, only you can make a decision like that because you know him best.

Make certain he has plenty of filtration without much current.  Could you put a sponge filter over the outflow of the HOB to slow down the current but keep the biofiltration benefits?  I like packing them with sponge blocks cut to fit for max biofiltration.  I don’t see any resting spots for him up high.  Do you have a way to provide that for him?  I would consider adding low dose salt for easier osmoregulation.  One tablespoon aquarium salt per 10 gallons.

If he continues to deteriorate, then you’ll know when he’s ready.  Until then, just make sure you’re doing what you can to keep him comfortable.

 

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my heart goes out to you that is a hard to decision to make i have been there with my bristolnose pelco Marvin. he was hurt but he was not  well ..  he was my favorite in the tank i tried everything i could do and even ask for advice here in the forum i finally drove to my pet store 2 hours with him and ask their advice  eventually it came to letting him go   all i can say is try all you can do  and make him comfortable,, if it comes down to the rough decision do not bet yourself up with  fish keeping guilt ,,   will keep you in my prayers i waited 2 months and missed a bristolnose and have another one name Barney 

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I’m sorry Gandalf is struggling. I recently went through this decision as I have several times in the past so I will share my recent experience to give you an example of how I made the decision. 
My last guppy boy who was stunted growth because he was caught in a planter when he was born. He was 2 years old.  He began developing a tumor along his spine. His favorite things were being tank boss no matter how big other fry in the tank were. He lived in a fry grow out because he liked to be boss and I did not want him getting picked on by big kids. 
Everyday he spent at least 5 minutes furiously swimming upstream in front of filter outflows and would swim laps about the tank most of the day. 
He started resting a lot on leaves but still did his favorite things. I knew he was wearing down when he stopped chasing the flow but waited as he was still active. This lasted almost 2 months though I could see him slowing further and further. 
Last week he swam from his perch and could only stay aloft a little while before tiring and settling on the substrate. He was a spit fire scooting along the floor still bossing the Cory fry while he ate. I knew then it was time. He struggled to get aloft though he managed  it was clear to me his life quality at that point was not what he enjoyed and I put him to rest to ease his suffering. 
I hope this helps give a clear picture of how I make these hard decisions. Big hugs it’s very hard to say goodbye to a friend. 
 

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When it comes to any animal for me, if it is fish or dog or cat, my question is "if it were me, what would I want?"

If he's just resting a lot- well I would want that, even if I am not feeling my best. But if I was having trouble breathing, having trouble doing anything, and hurt very badly, I would want it to be over. 

I put my mini dachshund down last summer, and it was hard, every pet is a friend. Even (and sometimes especially) a betta that you hung with every day. 

There is no right answer, just the answer that is right for you, and your own process. That is mine. 

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On 3/19/2023 at 1:59 PM, Lennie said:

I had a white guinea pig called Gandalf. It was so hard to see him pass away. Now seeing your beautiful fish called Gandalf, It made me remember of my lil one.

It is always hard to say a goodbye to our friends. Hope people here may help you to make the best decision.

@Odd Duck, would you like to share your opinion?

 

So sorry for the passing of your guinea pig. We love our pets so very much. Thank you for your kind words

On 3/19/2023 at 2:20 PM, Pepere said:

It is an incredibly tough decision.  In the wild there would be no one to gently euthanize him.

By the same token in the wild there would likely be a predator to take advantage of the situation…

 

I would suspect clove oil would be less stressful than being chased and eaten…

 

There is definitely no easy answer…

Thank you for your words. It’s such a tough decision 

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On 3/20/2023 at 2:15 AM, Odd Duck said:

This is never an easy choice to make, even in an obvious situation.  This is far from an obvious decision for Gandalf.  Those masses are not enough by themselves to tip the balance since they don’t seem to be affecting his swimming much at this point.  His behavior may be a bit borderline but it could be for other reasons than the masses.  For sure, only you can make a decision like that because you know him best.

Make certain he has plenty of filtration without much current.  Could you put a sponge filter over the outflow of the HOB to slow down the current but keep the biofiltration benefits?  I like packing them with sponge blocks cut to fit for max biofiltration.  I don’t see any resting spots for him up high.  Do you have a way to provide that for him?  I would consider adding low dose salt for easier osmoregulation.  One tablespoon aquarium salt per 10 gallons.

If he continues to deteriorate, then you’ll know when he’s ready.  Until then, just make sure you’re doing what you can to keep him comfortable.

 

Thank you for your answer. 
Gandalf has floating plants and a floating log. I had removed it to clean it and forgot to put it back. 
Some people say sponge filter is enough so I tought it was ok. No matter how much I pack my filter with sponge and filter moss, I always find the current too strong. 

On 3/20/2023 at 9:52 AM, Bev C said:

my heart goes out to you that is a hard to decision to make i have been there with my bristolnose pelco Marvin. he was hurt but he was not  well ..  he was my favorite in the tank i tried everything i could do and even ask for advice here in the forum i finally drove to my pet store 2 hours with him and ask their advice  eventually it came to letting him go   all i can say is try all you can do  and make him comfortable,, if it comes down to the rough decision do not bet yourself up with  fish keeping guilt ,,   will keep you in my prayers i waited 2 months and missed a bristolnose and have another one name Barney 

So sorry for Marvin. A lot of people do mot understand jow much we care and love our wet pet. I hope Barney is helping you mending your heart. One thing for sure, Marvin was one loved pleco

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On 3/20/2023 at 10:20 AM, Guppysnail said:

I’m sorry Gandalf is struggling. I recently went through this decision as I have several times in the past so I will share my recent experience to give you an example of how I made the decision. 
My last guppy boy who was stunted growth because he was caught in a planter when he was born. He was 2 years old.  He began developing a tumor along his spine. His favorite things were being tank boss no matter how big other fry in the tank were. He lived in a fry grow out because he liked to be boss and I did not want him getting picked on by big kids. 
Everyday he spent at least 5 minutes furiously swimming upstream in front of filter outflows and would swim laps about the tank most of the day. 
He started resting a lot on leaves but still did his favorite things. I knew he was wearing down when he stopped chasing the flow but waited as he was still active. This lasted almost 2 months though I could see him slowing further and further. 
Last week he swam from his perch and could only stay aloft a little while before tiring and settling on the substrate. He was a spit fire scooting along the floor still bossing the Cory fry while he ate. I knew then it was time. He struggled to get aloft though he managed  it was clear to me his life quality at that point was not what he enjoyed and I put him to rest to ease his suffering. 
I hope this helps give a clear picture of how I make these hard decisions. Big hugs it’s very hard to say goodbye to a friend. 
 

Thank you for sharing your last experience and so sorry you had to go through such a rough time too. It never get easier, eh?

Based on your comments and others, I will wait. He still swims and has life in him. I will make sure to extra spoil him as well and pay attention to any signs that will appear…

On 3/20/2023 at 10:41 AM, Miska said:

When it comes to any animal for me, if it is fish or dog or cat, my question is "if it were me, what would I want?"

If he's just resting a lot- well I would want that, even if I am not feeling my best. But if I was having trouble breathing, having trouble doing anything, and hurt very badly, I would want it to be over. 

I put my mini dachshund down last summer, and it was hard, every pet is a friend. Even (and sometimes especially) a betta that you hung with every day. 

There is no right answer, just the answer that is right for you, and your own process. That is mine. 

Thank you so much for your words. It helps knowing other people out there understand. 

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You can also attach a sponge right across the outflow of the filter - make a slit in the side of a prefilter (or a block of sponge) and slide it right over the lip of the outflow.  If your sponge is firm enough, it will cling to the outflow lip and disperse the water so the current is minimal.  A sponge filter should be sufficient, but when you’re worried about the fish’s health extra biofiltration is good as long as you aren’t blowing your fish around with current.

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On 3/19/2023 at 1:49 PM, Karen B. said:

I have a hard time making up my mind. Clearly he isn’t as happy and healthy as he once was. But should I euthanize him right now? I hate knowing he might be suffering. I wouldn’t want to prolong it just for my own sake… nor would I want to have the feeling he is unwell so I am just « getting rid » of him instead of letting him enjoy his life as stress free as possible.
 

 

As long as Gandalf is able to swim and eat, he deserves whatever time he has. 

Your feelings are very understandable.  After making the decision to euthanize for too many of my four legged friends, I prefer when possible, to allow nature to make these decisions for the fish.  Over time, I have had the usual here today gone tomorrow situations, and euthanized only one. That fish could not control its swimming, and therefore could not eat.  I have also had fish that lived on for for another year after euthanization was suggested.  

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