Dignified fish death?

[OnlyGenusCaps]

It so often feel like a catastrophe when a fish dies.  We care about our little captives, fawn over them, and feel real loss when they die.  Perhaps more so than folks who don't have cold blooded pets can imagine.

But...

Have you ever had a dignified death of a fish?  I was thinking about this yesterday as I pulled out my last surviving original desert goby (Chlamydogobius eremius).  Now, this species is in my opinion the best true freshwater goby species.  And when I got my fish in they had a bacterial infection that caused a lot of loss.  I hated every time a lost a fish. 

But...

My last original male just died yesterday.  He lived out his 1.5-2 year expected life.  I found him still guarding this burrow under his favorite rock.  And this time I felt, okay.  I felt like he live out a good life.  He has many offspring that help helped raise.  Lived to a ripe old age.  And died in his home that he made where he was happy*.  I am not sure what more I could have hoped for for him.  I felt like that was a clear dignified death, and as opposed to the losses I had when the batch arrived; I felt no heartache.  I felt glad that he lived as full a fishy life as I could give him.

Does anyone else have a story about a fish they lost in a way that made them feel like it was a dignified death?  Or am I just a bit odd even for this community?  That's possible, BTW.

*Warning: serious anthropomorphism happening here! 

[xXInkedPhoenixX]

I sadly cannot say that I have so far, but that's what I'm aiming for- for as many of my fish as I can- exactly what you've experienced. I also don't mind the anthropomorphism- I don't think we as humans give animals enough credit- we think we're beyond animals but we are, in the end, just animals too. Who is to say what their life experience is? I will decline to assume they don't have the same experiences we do and the wonder of it is part of why having animals in our lives is not just heartbreaking sometimes- but also part of our own happiness. 

Edited October 27, 2022 by xXInkedPhoenixX

[Brenden Mitchell]

I don't think its philosophically wrong to say that an animal who has expressed its full potential is happy. That's their entire life's goal after all: survive and reproduce. I doubt it feels like happiness, but I'm sure it's not a feeling of suffering. 

[Anjum]

That is a beautiful tribute. I'm sure he was a happy fish.

[TheSwissAquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 3:56 AM, OnlyGenusCaps said:

It so often feel like a catastrophe when a fish dies.  We care about our little captives, fawn over them, and feel real loss when they die.  Perhaps more so than folks who don't have cold blooded pets can imagine.

But...

Have you ever had a dignified death of a fish?  I was thinking about this yesterday as I pulled out my last surviving original desert goby (Chlamydogobius eremius).  Now, this species is in my opinion the best true freshwater goby species.  And when I got my fish in they had a bacterial infection that caused a lot of loss.  I hated every time a lost a fish. 

But...

My last original male just died yesterday.  He lived out his 1.5-2 year expected life.  I found him still guarding this burrow under his favorite rock.  And this time I felt, okay.  I felt like he live out a good life.  He has many offspring that help helped raise.  Lived to a ripe old age.  And died in his home that he made where he was happy*.  I am not sure what more I could have hoped for for him.  I felt like that was a clear dignified death, and as opposed to the losses I had when the batch arrived; I felt no heartache.  I felt glad that he lived as full a fishy life as I could give him.

Does anyone else have a story about a fish they lost in a way that made them feel like it was a dignified death?  Or am I just a bit odd even for this community?  That's possible, BTW.

*Warning: serious anthropomorphism happening here! 

I had a betta that lived for almost 4 years who I was super attached to.... he still lives on in 20-50 bettas who are his offspring.

I think @Flumpweesel got really attached to a goldfish.

[OnlyGenusCaps]

On 10/26/2022 at 9:56 PM, xXInkedPhoenixX said:

I sadly cannot say that I have so far, but that's what I'm aiming for

I have no doubt you'll get there!  Perhaps I just have a number of fish species that life fast and die, if not young, then at least don't survive many years.

On 10/27/2022 at 3:16 AM, TheSwissAquarist said:

I had a betta that lived for almost 4 years who I was super attached to.... he still lives on in 20-50 bettas who are his offspring.

Thanks for sharing!  That's part of the way I feel like this fish's legacy lives on.  Perhaps that is part of what makes losing one easier?  Don't know.

[Chick-In-Of-TheSea]

On 10/26/2022 at 10:56 PM, xXInkedPhoenixX said:

I sadly cannot say that I have so far, but that's what I'm aiming for- for as many of my fish as I can- exactly what you've experienced. I also don't mind the anthropomorphism- I don't think we as humans give animals enough credit- we think we're beyond animals but we are, in the end, just animals too. Who is to say what their life experience is? I will decline to assume they don't have the same experiences we do and the wonder of it is part of why having animals in our lives is not just heartbreaking sometimes- but also part of our own happiness. 

When my cat became old and had a fair number of health issues, and it came time for me to make "the decision" that every pet owner dreads - I took my tablet to the vet and I let him watch bird & squirrel videos in his final moments.

[Tanked]

On 10/26/2022 at 9:56 PM, OnlyGenusCaps said:

Does anyone else have a story about a fish they lost in a way that made them feel like it was a dignified death? 

My Moonlight Gourami passed 10 days ago.  The fish had been in decline for a couple of months, but maintained normal activity until it did not.   I think anytime a fish, especially an old fish is allowed to swim until it doesn't could be considered dignified.

There are exceptions of course.  1 month ago today, my oldest Ember Tetra jumped to its death.  More Fail Army than dignified.😠

On 10/27/2022 at 9:54 AM, Chick-In-Of-TheSea said:

When my cat became old and had a fair number of health issues, and it came time for me to make "the decision" that every pet owner dreads - I took my tablet to the vet and I let him watch bird & squirrel videos in his final moments.

"the decision" is why I can no longer keep dogs or cats, or walk down the pet food aisle.

[Chick-In-Of-TheSea]

On 10/27/2022 at 10:06 AM, Tanked said:

"the decision" is why I can no longer keep dogs or cats, or walk down the pet food aisle.

There were 13 years of love and joy though. For him and for me.

Edited October 27, 2022 by Chick-In-Of-TheSea

[Tanked]

On 10/27/2022 at 10:16 AM, Chick-In-Of-TheSea said:

There were 13 years of love and joy though. For him and for me.

I feel it!  Fortunately the fish usually make the decision for us.

[Guppysnail]

For me the dignified way to pass is my guppy girls. They dedicate their lives to producing offspring.

When my girls are old and dropping their final batch of fry I often find a huge drop of fry (largest group they produce) that are well developed and each larger than normal in the morning. The mother often passes immediately after and is gone by morning before lights on. 
This to me is their life’s work come to completion. They give every drop of everything they have left to the final batch of fry. When they live beyond the final drop they decline in health and struggle quite a bit. 
 

[TheSwissAquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 4:33 PM, Guppysnail said:

For me the dignified way to pass is my guppy girls. They dedicate their lives to producing offspring.

When my girls are old and dropping their final batch of fry I often find a huge drop of fry (largest group they produce) that are well developed and each larger than normal in the morning. The mother often passes immediately after and is gone by morning before lights on. 
This to me is their life’s work come to completion. They give every drop of everything they have left to the final batch of fry. When they live beyond the final drop they decline in health and struggle quite a bit. 
 

To give one’s life for one’s offspring is probably one of the most dignified ways to die.

[The Arthritic Aquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 10:16 AM, Chick-In-Of-TheSea said:

There were 13 years of love and joy though. For him and for me.

I can relate.  My cat, of almost 20 years, passed away last year.  I had planned to call the vet that morning, but "the decision" was thankfully taken out of my hands.  She passed away quietly at home in the early hours.

Ironically, I came across this piece in the UK Telegraph this morning:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/columnists/2022/10/26/never-cat-person-met-lyra/

Edited October 27, 2022 by The Arthritic Aquarist
Fixed typo

[TheSwissAquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 5:04 PM, The Arthritic Aquarist said:

I can relate.  My cat, of almost 20 years, passed away last year.  I had planned to call the vet that morning, but "the decision" was thankfully taken out of my hands.  She passed away quietly at home in the early hours.

Sorry to hear that 😢.

[Jess]

It's kind of my dream to feel this kind of peace about an animal passing.  I worry so much during my fishes' lives that I'm providing them with the most "natural" of habitats (and I'm not even talking about water parameters...just like, do my fish feel safe and not stressed in their environment, are they hungry, etc.),  When one of them dies, I almost never know why...and it bothers me because I don't think any of them (so far) have lived out their full lifespan when they go.  I've had a few jump before I got lids; I feel especially horrible about that.  The worst was a panda garra I had shipped.  It was recommended for my 17-gal, and what arrived was a 3-inch fish.  WAY too big for my 17-gallon with plants and hardscape - just not nearly enough swimming room.  But there he was...I couldn't very well leave him in the bag.  So I got him in there and pulled out my bigger 45-gal to set that up for him over the next couple of days.  Overnight he tank surfed his way out of the tank...I was heart-broken.  I almost gave up fish at that point.  That was my first loss, too.  Most recently, just last week I got 5 halfbeaks (also online) and I followed their acclimatization instructions instead of Cory's.  They had me drop acclimatize for 1-1.5 hr, monitoring for signs of distress.  3 of them died the next day, and I know it was all my fault.  Now I know halfbeaks cannot handle that acclimatization the way other fish can, and from now on I will always just follow Cory's way.

Even with my dogs, all but one have died from old age and I still don't feel at peace about it.  I think I just have difficulties with the idea of death and I experience a lot of guilt when I'm the caretaker.

[Jess]

On 10/27/2022 at 11:04 AM, The Arthritic Aquarist said:

I had planned to call the vet that morning, but "the decision" was thankfully taken out of my hands.

This is 99% of the reason why I will not get another dog after my old boy is gone.  "The decision" has never been taken out of hands, and as a spiritual (but not religious) person, it's hard sometimes not to resent the "invisible hand(s)" for this fact.  I've had dogs all my life; there's a very obvious shift when "it's time" and I've always felt it my duty to minimize suffering so I do take on "the decision" responsibility...but geez just for once I would like one of my beloved pets to go peacefully in their sleep when the time comes.  Preferably while I'm around, so they're with me and not alone.  

[TheSwissAquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 5:40 PM, Jess said:

It's kind of my dream to feel this kind of peace about an animal passing.  I worry so much during my fishes'

I don’t think you’re supposed feel at peace with a pet passing! It’s one of your best friends!

[The Arthritic Aquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 11:49 AM, TheSwissAquarist said:

I don’t think you’re supposed feel at peace with a pet passing! It’s one of your best friends!

Agreed.  I have also had many other pets and this was the first time the decision was taken out of my hands.

[TheSwissAquarist]

It’s always very hard for a pet to die, @Jess, but in the Stone Age death was just a part of life, so I expect our ancestors learnt to rise above it but still, thankfully, feel compassion.

[Jess]

On 10/27/2022 at 11:59 AM, TheSwissAquarist said:

in the Stone Age death was just a part of life

Yep...alas, here we are many inventions and improvements later, and death is still just a part of life.

[Flumpweesel]

On 10/27/2022 at 9:16 AM, TheSwissAquarist said:

I had a betta that lived for almost 4 years who I was super attached to.... he still lives on in 20-50 bettas who are his offspring.

I think @Flumpweesel got really attached to a goldfish.

Yes I was but sadly I was away when he passed so will always wonder if I could have prevented it. I'll not go into the grim details of how I found things. I do keep a date list of when I get fish so I can monitor if they are hitting a reasonable life spans.

With all pets we just do our best to give them a life they enjoy and that we do what is needed to ease or (when necessary)end any suffering.

It always hurts to lose a pet but I was brought up to know that the sadness is the price of all the love.

I had so many pets growing up and part of the deal for getting first puppy is that I had to be there for every vet visit from check up the last visit she was never to face it without me. I was 5 when I got her and 24 when my dad called me to come round as she needed to see the vet so I could make the final decision for her.

 

[The Arthritic Aquarist]

On 10/27/2022 at 4:16 AM, TheSwissAquarist said:

I had a betta that lived for almost 4 years who I was super attached to.... he still lives on in 20-50 bettas who are his offspring.

I think @Flumpweesel got really attached to a goldfish.

My most recent Betta passed away in September.  I'd only had him for about 1.5 years but had rather grown attached to him.  A previous Betta, that I had a few years ago, only lived for about one year.  They were both from Big Box stores.  I wonder about the quality of their livestock.  I only have Big Box stores in my area (they driven all the LFH out of the area).  Do you think it would be better to order online from a reputable dealer?

[TheSwissAquarist]

On 10/28/2022 at 10:33 PM, The Arthritic Aquarist said:

My most recent Betta passed away in September.  I'd only had him for about 1.5 years but had rather grown attached to him.  A previous Betta, that I had a few years ago, only lived for about one year.  They were both from Big Box stores.  I wonder about the quality of their livestock.  I only have Big Box stores in my area (they driven all the LFH out of the area).  Do you think it would be better to order online from a reputable dealer?

LFH?

I know, it’s quite sad about the degradation in fish quality… just how do we counteract it?

[The Arthritic Aquarist]

On 10/28/2022 at 5:01 PM, TheSwissAquarist said:

LFH?

I know, it’s quite sad about the degradation in fish quality… just how do we counteract it?

LFS I meant...

Well, in September, I decided to replace the Betta with Neocaridina.  It's my first time trying my hand with them.  So far, they seem a good fit and I'm rather enjoying them.  Hoping they will breed.  I ordered the shrimp online.  Depending on the ultimate outcome, I could be back to Bettas in the future.

[TheSwissAquarist]

On 10/28/2022 at 11:28 PM, The Arthritic Aquarist said:

LFS I meant...

Well, in September, I decided to replace the Betta with Neocaridina.  It's my first time trying my hand with them.  So far, they seem a good fit and I'm rather enjoying them.  Hoping they will breed.  I ordered the shrimp online.  Depending on the ultimate outcome, I could be back to Bettas in the future.

Keep us posted on how it works out!