New Guideline - Avoid posting threads that encourage hobby negativity.

[Cory]

Hello everyone,

 

Over the last month or so, we've been noticing a trend of negativity on the forum. It's not wide spread, but it is making it's way into more threads being reported and customer service.

Essentially threads like "what annoys you" "what don't you like" "what would you change about X" All lead to people's feelings getting hurt.

It can be as innocent as 10 people posting how they don't like glow fish. Imagine your niece, nephew, child reading this and becoming discouraged with their aquarium.

We've always been a be kind and helpful community, I don't believe these threads are intentionally harmful, but the mods have seen them devolve and we are asking that we avoid this types of writing prompts, and will likely be locking them. I wanted to post this so it doesn't seem that any one comment or thread is a problem. Instead this is a choice to maintain a positive space.

[Streetwise]

Please also avoid the formula of negative rhetorical questions.

“Why is Shelbyville so much worse than Springfield?”

This makes the assumption that ‘everyone’ shares the same negative feeling, and then asks for validation of this premise. This is often bait for an argument.

Please do not engage, and report if necessary.

[Patrick_G]

On 5/17/2022 at 5:01 PM, Streetwise said:

“Why is Shelbyville so much worse than Springfield?”

I prefer North Haverbrook! 😂
 

Humor is a great diffuser in threads that seem like they’re starting to get combative 😀

Edited May 18, 2022 by Patrick_G

[cavdad45]

I love that picture!

[modified lung]

I have to say I very much disagree with this move. Such threads are not inherently negative and are often very interesting and educational. I myself quite enjoy them. Rather, such threads are made negative by those who devolve them into negativity. 

[Torrey]

On 5/17/2022 at 8:01 PM, modified lung said:

I have to say I very much disagree with this move. Such threads are not inherently negative and are often very interesting and educational. I myself quite enjoy them. Rather, such threads are made negative by those who devolve them into negativity. 

I suspect we can find ways to maintain educational approaches, without wording things in ways that hold the potential to contribute to lateral and unintended harm.

I really appreciate the commitment to keeping the Forum as positive and helpful as possible, and the gentle reminders that we all have room for improvement. I agree @modified lung, as an over 50 yo fish keeper, I have learned a lot from some of those "What problem is seen" and "Can you share why you don't like XXX"

By the same token, I am in here because the negativity elsewhere is getting overwhelming. I am in sessions all day long, hearing from various people of all ages, who have been/are being bullied, and are incredibly sensitive (I call it being an emotional burn equivalent to 75% third degree burns) to perceived attacks... like Cory's example of a kid just getting into the hobby and his tank is full of Glo Tetras so they don't have to be self-conscious about having the Glo Light on in their tank all night (for any kids reading, I am over 50, and I have a bedside tank that is lit at night instead of the day!)

I would feel horrible if I recommended someone to the forum, and they read something that negatively impacted their healing journey. So I appreciate the reminder to share information, just be mindful in how we present the infromation we are sharing... and be careful in the questions we ask so we don't unintentionally do harm.

[jwcarlson]

20+ years ago I bought a tiny little "blueberry oscar" in the fish aisle of a local grocery store.  I'd already had a normal red oscar at home and had absolutely no idea that these blue ones were actually an albino dyed fish.  So I plopped it into a 29 gallon and kind of went on my clueless way.

Long story short...  my blue fish wasn't doing so good and it turns out buying a sick, "bad fish" that was looked down on by a community of dedicated oscar lovers (on OscarFish(dot)com forums) pointed me down the path of learning what was and wasn't right for the fish I had.  I'm not saying it led me to be some sort of master oscar keeper, but it helped a sick little dyed oscar named Squirt to live what I like to think was a pretty good, long life considering where she started.  

I'm not saying anyone should be ostracized or attacked for having certain types of fish.  But I genuinely believe that "the way" to a better overall hobby is to guide people to make better decisions.  I can't say that I've seen a single instance here of people doing anything other than trying to help guide.  It's OK to point out why things people are doing are good or bad.  And in the instance of a fish-loving kid... it has a very good chance of sending them down the path to better research and husbandry.

Anyway... that's my two cents that no one really asked for. 🙂  Also, here's Squirt.

Edited May 19, 2022 by jwcarlson

[Bjorn]

On 5/17/2022 at 4:28 PM, Cory said:

It can be as innocent as 10 people posting how they don't like glow fish. Imagine your niece, nephew, child reading this and becoming discouraged with their aquarium.

I feel called out 😆. It's a good point, though. Gatekeeping isn't nice.

[sweetpoison]

On 5/19/2022 at 5:35 AM, jwcarlson said:

20+ years ago I bought a tiny little "blueberry oscar" in the fish aisle of a local grocery store.  I'd already had a normal red oscar at home and had absolutely no idea that these blue ones were actually an albino dyed fish.  So I plopped it into a 29 gallon and kind of went on my clueless way.

Long story short...  my blue fish wasn't doing so good and it turns out buying a sick, "bad fish" that was looked down on by a community of dedicated oscar lovers (on OscarFish(dot)com forums) pointed me down the path of learning what was and wasn't right for the fish I had.  I'm not saying it led me to be some sort of master oscar keeper, but it helped a sick little dyed oscar named Squirt to live what I like to think was a pretty good, long life considering where she started.  

I'm not saying anyone should be ostracized or attacked for having certain types of fish.  But I genuinely believe that "the way" to a better overall hobby is to guide people to make better decisions.  I can't say that I've seen a single instance here of people doing anything other than trying to help guide.  It's OK to point out why things people are doing are good or bad.  And in the instance of a fish-loving kid... it has a very good chance of sending them down the path to better research and husbandry.

Anyway... that's my two cents that no one really asked for. 🙂  Also, here's Squirt.

I LOVE Squirt!♥️  Great name!!