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Stress of fish keeping


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It does fade with confidence. Since confidence largely comes through having good info, I'd suggest keeping some form of written record of info that's relevant to your aquarium(s). That way, you can always be confident that you're keeping track of any problems, and have easy access to answers for those problems.

It's also true that calm comes through stabilizing. I'd suggest to *anyone* to go slow with purchases and changes until it feels like the tank is stable and the human is chill. ❤️

Edited by CalmedByFish
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I feel like that generally fades with time and experience. 

FWIW, having been in and out of the hobby a few times over the last few decades I get that way each time I'm getting my tank(s) rolling again. And every time I get a new specie. I watch them endlessly, read everything I can on them, and at some point I find the 'worry' transforms into confidence, assuming I've kept them alive and happy. 

Gets easier every time, and with each new fish. 🙂

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I think so. Your tanks should eventually reach a point where they aren't that labor intensive. You'll find yourself more looking at how the fish are doing rather than worrying about testing every day. I can't remember the last time I tested parameters or changed water other than topping off. Not saying you should never do either of those things. I should probably do a spot check on parameters in the next day or so. When my fish are doing normal fishy things and seem "good" then I know everything is ok in their tank.

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I believe it does fade but you will have ups and downs with your wet pets.  I have had so many freak out moments during big moves or changes but after when the fish are good you feel a great euphoria and relaxation.  Remember, Corey says You'll stay in the hobby if you enjoy the hobby and for me that's falling in love with all my fish and giving them identities.  Love just watching them be happy.

What part of the hobby do you Love so far @KristinaC😊

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The fact you are worried and are here asking means that you will be just fine.

I am fairly new to the hobby and I feel you.  There have been quite a few times I have forgotten this hobby is supposed to be relaxing.  Especially starting out and worrying about the nitrogen cycle.  Then I got stressed when one fish bullied the other fish.   Then I had to deal with ich.  Then later a surprise bubble nest and worrying how to save the babies and when to separate the parents.  There were times it seemed like putting fish in a hospital tank seemed more like putting them in a hospice and stressing about whether it would be more humane to put them to sleep.  It is really sad for me to lose a fish, but I have learned that sometimes fish pass on inexplicably and there is not much you can do.  

The longer you go and learn, the more you understand. I think you do get more confidence with time and you stop worrying about every little thing.  I feel great every time I see my fish get excited about adding clean, fresh water and watching them thrive and grow because I have learned to take care of them better. 

Things get easier and I think there really is truth to what is said about "seasoned" tanks.  Fish thrive in them, plants thrive in them and you get to enjoy this beautiful and relaxing hobby.  It is a journey, but in my opinion, well worth it.  😊  hang in there.

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As someone with anxiety over a lot of things, and with a girlfriend with severe OCD and anxiety, I certainly know what it’s like to be anxious and worried all the time about my tanks. And, tbh, sometimes I still do, but definitely not nearly as much as I did when i first started. Now when I first get something really cool I’ve been after, I’m excitedly anxious bc I want them to do well, but once they’ve been with me a bit and I know they’re doing alright, I certainly calm down. This hobby can be a bit overwhelming at times, especially in the beginning, but as you experience and learn more, you’ll gain confidence, and the amount that you’re anxious will go down. Depending on who you are as a person, it might never fully disappear, but it’ll certainly get easier.

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That's really good insight, @Steph’s Fish and Plants. I also have clinical OCD and severe anxiety (it's being managed, but it's a lifelong battle), and the anxiety about the fish and aquariums does fade over time, even for someone like me. It's been six months for me, too, and I still probably fuss over my fish more than I should. I spend a lot of time examining them every day for any problems, and I research a lot of potential issues I could come across. But it is better than it was at the start, and I think if I keep reminding myself to simmer down and back off for a bit every day, it'll continue to get better.

Like everything else in this hobby, it's an exercise in patience and taking it slow. Give it time and give yourself permission and space to feel that anxiety, acknowledge that it isn't entirely rational, and breathe. Good luck!

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My 5.5g Betta tank just completely cycled Sunday.  It has been 2 months with constant worry about ammonia.  I tested every day (sometimes twice) and even worried at night that my cute Betta wouldn’t make it through the cycle.  I’ll never do an in fish cycle again. The smaller the tank the harder it is.  And now I can’t relax.  I’m still testing each morning like I did. As time goes on I think it will get better. I only test my 30g Platy tank once a month but my Betta is special. I went through a lot of Prime.

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